Let's talk about Film....

Hello Darlings, 

Okay, so here's the thing, I don't go to the cinema.

Like, ever.

I haven't since I was 17 and watching the Half-Blood Prince film with my bestie.

I got really unnerved by the people sitting behind me, which caused me to freak the fuck out. The cinema was pretty much full. We had booked our seats specifically because there wasn't meant to be anyone sitting behind my seat -which is a thing I can't cope with, not sure why. 

Then a group of lads wandered in, decided they didn't like their booked seats and chose the only others available- behind me and my friend. I spent the whole film so tense and distressed that I was thrilled when the film ended (which is never something I would ever say about a Harry Potter film).

 I'm tensing up thinking about it, TBH. 

It's one of many situations that looking back makes me wonder how long I have had some level of panic disorder/anxiety. 

I now realise it may not be healthy to freak out at the idea of someone sitting behind you to the point of making a scene to then panic about making a scene and causing severe aversions to certain situations.

It's even lead to a discomfort in watching new films and TV in general.

Some days I can't watch anything I haven't seen before, whilst other days I have to be pushed into watching something different.

This is a bit of a problem.

Especially as I want to write and direct films. 

This problem has meant that I don't see critically acclaimed films.

I don't learn what makes a good film or differentiates a decent film from an outstanding one. But I want to learn.

So here is to ringing in the changes.

 My challenge is to watch 3 new films/TV series this month and to go the cinema before April.  It doesn't sound much, but for me, this is a huge deal.  

 Eight Years is a long time. 

Hopefully, this the start of something new and wonderful. 


#Film #Cinema #Anxiety

Artist, Writer and Photographer